A Doorless Room

We were in a doorless room
It was an apartment on St. Marks and 1st
It was a secret skinny dip in the dark of the summer
It was the distance between our eyes
We never needed any exits

But one day I awoke to a small hole
Burrowed in the corner of the room
Almost imperceptible
But startling in its sudden presence

The hole continued to grow
And I never asked you about it
I didn’t have the courage

One day the hole became a window
And we could both stare out
Into the loveless world
I stared with fear
I think you stared with hunger

It became harder to reach you
I couldn’t find that East Village apartment in the dark
We never swam in secret or in summer
And our eyes always just missed meeting

Then the window became a door
And one morning
Without reason or warning
You got up and walked right out
The wall sealing shut behind you

I was in a doorless room
As isolated from the outside as before
But newly crushed under the weight
Of loss and loneliness
With a lump of old love crumpled in that corner
Where the wall had become a window
Had become a door
Had become your exit
And my unraveling.


Hump Day Haiku #30

I was your actress
I was mystery and mood
But was never me

You were my actor
You were charm, wit, and talent
But were never you

We were a movie
We were lights, camera, action
But were never us

Oh how I once wished
To stop the film from rolling
And live free from there

Now I know how sweet
It feels to be someone’s world
And no one’s actress


The Plea

2562-_32_0705I lopped off a limb,
My arm,
It won’t grow back
I am the one holding the ax
And I am the one yelling
And Stop
And Don’t

I gave you my grin,
My Sun,
It won’t come back
I am the one who gave it away
And I am the one wondering
And Why?
And How?

My arm on the floor
My mouth twisted down
I got myself here somehow

My body feels strange
My mind’s lost its way
But could you please try to stay?